I tried to take a step back today. Listen more and be a father less. Anastasia was on her ‘A’ game today. I love days like these. She is intuitive, responsive and very smart.
I decided to let her off restriction for a little bit and play an online game my entire family plays. Her cousins were on the game and she typically argues with them and they all get mad at each other when playing this game together. So I thought I would let Anastasia play the game with them.
She got on the game and immediately had issues over what she wanted to do. I sit right next to her on our humongous computer desk, so I could see all this unfold.
It was the first time Anastasia used her ’safe’ word. She looked at me and said, “Dada, I need you to be my friend and listen to what happened.” I was excited! I get to be on her level helping her instead of her Dad, and what I say goes.
She told me her dilema, we talked it out, I gave her some options I thought she could use and I needed to keep reminding her, it was her decision, she used the ‘word’ so I will not tell her what to do.
In the end we laughed had a good talk and the night went on pretty much uneventful.
I am thankful for all the great advice. I write so many times about not getting lost in your day and live in every moment. And it is STILL so easy to do that without even noticing.
Wow, seems that life is moving pretty fast right now and trying to keep this blog up to date is not as easy as dealing with all the issues and fielding the ones coming in.
Turns out Anastasia DID push a girl at school, one of her friends. She was upset because her friend decided to be friends with the girl that hit Anastasia.
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Tonight I got a phone call from one of Anastasia’s friends. She asked me if Anastasia had talked to me about sleeping over her house. She didn’t so I told her friend no. So, of course she asks, “Can she sleep over then?” I told her I needed to talk to Anastasia about it.
I got off the phone and asked Anastasia when her and her friend talked about this one. She told me on Friday at school. I asked when she thought would be a good time to tell me? Considering I found out from her friend calling me.
I hate last minute decisions. I told Anastasia no. I didn’t want to make a last minute decision and then have to rush and get her ready. 2 minutes later Anastasia’s friend’s mother calls me. She explains that she was fine with her sleeping over and that they were looking forward to it. Now I need to make a last minute decision. Ugh.
I told her friend’s mother she could spend the night. I told Anastasia to go get her clothes and get ready to go. I explained to Anastasia how much nicer it would have been to have had advance notice on this one.
Her friend’s parents came and picked her up and then they were off with my little girl. I am happy she has friends to spend the night with and have a social life. Although I really miss her when she’s gone. :(
I really don’t like that phrase. “Sorry to bother you.” Anastasia has told me that about 10 times today. Most of time it prepended a want or begging of some sort. She was out with her friend most of the day. She would text me everyonce in a while and call occasionally. They were over another friends house, then over a different friend’s house, then they begged to come here. Then she needed a drink. Then she wanted her scooter. Then she wanted to change her shirt. Then she wanted to go to the church that her friend’s parents volunteer at.
All starting with, “I’m sorry to bother you.” UGH. I think she thinks that makes me softer or calms me down. It doesn’t.
It makes me feel horrible. Am I that busy that she constantly feels like she is bothering me. I don’t think so. Cause I could be working on her computer, or making dinner and she tells me that.
I think it is a new phase she is going through. Hopefully this one passes quick.
Today was better than Monday. Anastasia went outside to play, she had a friend she spent most of the day with. I also got Napster loaded on her computer. I pay for it, she is a music fanatic, so I thought, “Hey! There’s a time killer..er…I mean, something fun to do!”
The day progressed nicely, I still didn’t get much done. I got my new phone so I spent much of the afternoon setting it up. Hopefully today will be A LOT more productive.
